Someone Else's Blog Entry

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

I'm really disgusted with myself. And you. Yesterday I took my math final. I went online today to see if he'd graded them and added them on yet. I'd gotten 90.45% on it. In all, my final grade is about 88% -- a B+, but it'll show up as a B since this is a semester grade. Oh, I'm not disgusted about that. In fact, I did a lot better on the final than I expected to do. What I'm disgusted about is that I'm afraid to tell my parents that hey, you know, I got a B as a final semester grade. It's actually a B+, really close to an A, you know, but it's not like you guys can see the difference, because to you, anything below 90% is failing. After all, aren't I supposed to get at least 98% on every single test? The last time I told you about a good grade -- to me, about 96% or 97% -- you gave me the equivalent of "What, you can't do better?" I'm only as good as I am. I don't want extra help or for you to hire a tutor for the sole purpose of making my college applications look good. I get it, all right? I understand what I'm learning perfectly fine. I'm sorry if I make little mistakes here and there. I'm sorry if I forget concepts or formulas or laws or how to do something or other. I'm sorry if all these things lead to not doing well on tests (in this community, that's saying anything less than an A). But I really wish that you guys would try to understand and let me attempt to help myself improve instead of pressuring me to GET HELP FAST! anytime there's even a chance of me getting less than 90% on anything at all or hinting that maybe I shouldn't be so relaxed when I have a test the next day and should get to studying (remember, I have to study for an hour per subject at the very least -- do you realize that's five hours a day?) instead of reading or going online. I'm not so stupid that I can't tell if and when I need help, nor am I so stubborn that I would refuse to ask for it or accept it if I need it. I hate it when you suggest I should drop extracurricular classes when I get "bad" grades, but you pressure me to join community service clubs and do hours of community service. Oh wait, I forgot -- colleges like to see community service on applications, don't they? All I'm asking is for you to ease off a little. Don't give me that look when I say I got an 88.5% on a test. Don't lecture me when I tell you I think I may have gotten something less than an A on a progress report. Don't tell me that I should be like Cynthia, and how she did this and that and so on -- I take the mail in at least three times a week, and I can see how many letters from colleges she gets. Don't talk to me about how badly Ben's doing at DeAnza behind his back and how he might have to end up going to SJSU -- it's not that bad of a thing, and it's unfair to me and to him. I hate it how you imply how I'll end up being like him whenever you see me in front of the computer. I hate to break it to you, but I am my own person -- I'm not Cynthia or Ben, and I don't plan on following what one or the other does, thank you very much. I'll be taking whichever path I choose -- not Cynthia's, not Ben's, not anyone else's, but mine. So back off a little, give me some space, and I promise you I'm already doing and will always do my best -- and if that's not enough for you, then I don't know what is.

Posted 12/13/2006 9:03 PM

Asians... My parents are like that too. I can't say I understand as much as you as I'm only a freshman, but my dad's a professor in engineering so he's always drilling me & my two older brothers about that kind of thing. And the the thing is, my brothers are really smart & have no problem with it, and always pass everything with flying colors. How am I supposed to live up to their 1600's? They *both* got perfect SAT scores. I'm not as smart as them, and I'm much more social & emotional... and into so many things that they disapprove like anime, cosplay, the internet, etc. And yet, my mom expects me to be better than both of my brothers and get into Harvard. Everything I do is always ground towards my college apps. Dude, I'm only fourteen. [/minivent]

Posted 12/13/2006 10:30 PM by

... you're supposed to get an 98 percent on every single test? *stares* No way... that's like.. unreal. O_o;; My parents aren't THAT strict. But I completely sympathize with you. *sighs* Parents... O_o||

... I'll be getting a B in Chem if that makes you feel any better.

Posted 12/14/2006 2:33 PM by

uff. I know exactly how you feel. I think that 88 is an amazing score to get on a big math test. I mean, isn't it a whole lot better than totally failing it? Why don't people understand? *sympathizes with you*

-Rin

Posted 12/14/2006 5:13 PM by

=) Don't worry about it ^.^ 88% on a math test is awsome! I really hate it too when my parents say stuff and compare me to other people... hello! I am already donig my best... so I just yell at them, and then they stoo -.^ lol! Getting like 98% on every test is almost impossible... you'd be like, a certified genius or something o.O It's ok =D *huggs*

Posted 12/15/2006 1:36 PM by

aww, my parents dont that anymore. However, sometimes I wish they were a bit strict. Maybe then I wouldn't be procrastianating and stuff.

Posted 12/15/2006 6:18 PM by

asian parents... i think they're feuled by their hard times as children, and their scant education. otherwise, why push their children to work so hard? so their children can make themselves become better than their parents, and have a better lifestyle. i sympathize with both sides. however, i am getting a B this semester, and a B as my final grade for the year, in french; due to a really retarded grading system. something i have not done since 6th grade, if that makes you feel any better....

Posted 12/16/2006 6:47 PM by

hey, it's so nice to hear from you! i read this post before but yeahhhh uhh it sucks? i really never know what to say about these things ^_^ your layout is beautiful (as usual!) and i hope you enjoy your winter break! remember bleach? haha. oh, did you get into county honor band?

Posted 12/16/2006 9:58 PM by

etc.... this is how i feel sometimes.